You honestly do not have to test how far my uterus will stretch. It's not getting any stretchier. And you're not getting any smaller.
Suck it up. You and I have 8 more weeks together. You're going to get bigger and fatter and my uterus probably won't grow all that much. Or maybe it will. I don't know and I haven't read a pregnancy book in four years. All I know is that all this stretching out like you're in a damn hammock sort of makes me feel as though I'm that guy in Alien.
So, this is your cease and desist notice.
Knock it off or I will never ever, ever purchase you a pony.
Never.
Love,
Mom.
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